Afternoon Angst.

Today I was thinking about posture, and how it makes me feel totally fat? You know? It's like when I sit up straight this roll just hangs over the top of my jeans and totally makes me feel like I'm accidentally slipping into a downward tragic spiral like Britney. And it is accidental! I mean, if I was the skinny Olsen and had nothing to do but look cute and smoke and drink coffee, I would so be as thin and blonde as them. But I'm allergic to coffee! It makes me vomit! Which, incidentally, maybe I should look into as a weight loss solution - bulimia and all. I am totally bummed about the roll though. I'm not even eating bread rolls right now, it's all so unfair! And I have to work. I get sugar cravings. It's just so not good. I wonder if cocaine is illegal in China? I could be just like Lindsay! And I have a friend who djs and she's also a gaydy so it would totally be like a Samantha Ronson Lohan parallel. Awesome, have sooo got to tell her about it next time we meet! Urhhhhhm, where was I? Oh yeah, anyway, I think I'll go shopping tonight and buy some baggy tshirts and laxatives. I am gonna rock the whole skinny chick in her boyfriend's tshirt look. And spending half the night on the toilet is gonna give me the perfect eye bags and lanky hair. Like, totally the new Olsen sister. Cute! Wish I had Louboutins.