How do you work when . . . gay sheep!

Sometimes I wonder the point of writing this blog. Sometimes I wonder whether I should try to emulate one of the gossipy, giggly, snide and serious pieces of work in cyberspace. But this is not high school, and I'm not prepared to go through the agony of devirginisation again. So I have thus far resisted all temptation to succumb to anything resembling interest in or relevance to current affairs. But! Occasionally an article will bitch slap you like a drunken uncle and you express surprise and then confusion but deep down you're thinking oh god yeah. (Yeah, I realise how disturbing that sounds and am quite disgusted by it too.)

So, today during my daily routine of distraction, I found an article on gay sheep. Gay. Sheep. Snap! And no, they were not in New Zealand. More astounding than the fact that someone would bother writing an article about gay sheep, is that the article is subtitled "Gay Sheep Revisited" meaning that it was so fascinating the first time round that it warranted a followup story. Even more amazing is that the subject matter analyses an ongoing scientific research project about the gayness of said sheep.

Now, I don't know too much about the cultural environments of various states in the wonderfully diverse US of A, but methinks male scientists from Oregon researching homosexual rams may have less than altruistic designs. PETA seems to have picked up on this vibe as they actually have accused them of trying to "cure" homosexuality in animals. Wow. I guess when there's no fashion week fur coat eggings to attend, you've got to have something to entertain yourself. Perhaps scientists in Oregon are not as entertaining as celbutits covered in baby mice, but their actions are seemingly no less abhorrent. The scientists have been trying to explain to PETA that they have no intention of "curing" the gay rams; their real intention is to - wait for it - cause the gayness! Yeah. Right. I'm not sure which side to cheer for, especially once I found out that part of the scientists' grant came from the National Centre For Research Resources which states that it funds "discoveries that begin at a molecular and cellular level, move to animal-based studies, and then are translated to patient-oriented clinical research, resulting in cures and treatments for … diseases." Gay disease. This is totally a George W. Bush thing he's funnelling money to on the side to cure gayness. Bird flu? AIDS? Terrorists? Nah, the biggest secret threat to (white, heterosexual, JC lovin') humanity is gayeity. And obviously arse loving rams are numero uno on his gaydar.

PETA, bless them, are unable to think outside the box (or the cage which contains the poor darling tortured minks) to reach my fabulous conclusion. Their minds are far more concerned with minutiae (le sigh!). Specifically, they are concerned over the scientists' hypotheses that gay rams "may not be exposed to the same levels" of estrogen as straight rams. To extrapolate, put these woolly beasts in estrogen therapy, and voila! they become straight! Or something like that. Ahahahaahhahhaa. Hahaha. Ha. It seems PETA thinks these scientis have the devious ultimate design of homosexual sheep genocide. I think PETA think too much.

Anyway, the research came back inconclusive. Apparently there are no specific genetic traits that make a ram gay or not gay. Surprising, no? So, unfortunately for Oregon scientists, farmers, and New Zealand, estrogen therapy on potentially flamboyant rams is not a practical treatment to ensure that they get it on with batty eyed ewes.

Pity you can't blame the gay sheep disease on society, or skinny models.



http://www.slate.com/id/2159262/