My bits have a healthy ego.

I blame feminism for giving us the proverbial cock and balls to enjoy multiple orgasms from multiple partners. In a massive oversight, it failed to remove oestrogen from the equation. And now there’s a new generation of strong independent highly sexed and equally highly strung women with little means to deal with the emotional backlash ensuing from a voracious sexual appetite.

I call bullshit on any woman who claims to be able to have her cake, eat it and not consider the calories after. The physics of human bodies mean that vaginas are secret little havens of pleasure while penises, well, they’re just there and really don’t hesitate to tell you. And thus the internal dialogue between brain and vadge is extremely personal. Fuck one over, and you're not likely to get the chance to fuck the other one too.

I'll admit that I'm just as emotionally attached to my vagina as any other girl. But it's not healthy to allow a fuck to fuck with your head. It's called dignity! Vaginal dignity! Pick your bits up off the floor and quit acting like your pussy. The more muscle you have to shore up your ego, the stronger it will be when the emotional fucktards come flooding in. And the stronger your ego is, it follows the stronger your vadge is. And you know what a strong vadge leads to? Awesome sex all round.